Saturday, November 21, 2009

King Alfred's Jewel

This is a creative writing assignment. I went to the Ashmolean Museum here in Oxford (sooo cool!) and looked at a jewel that is from King Alfred the Great, the British Anglo Saxon King from the 800's AD. It was lovely. So here's my description of it:

Fragile as a raindrop
With a snowflake’s intricacy
The flecks of colored gems
Blend into mosaic delicacy

A saintly face peers out
In the fragments that are whole
Entombed in the web
Of pure gossamer gold

The twisted threads weave
A tale of aged legacy
Enwreathed exquisite jewel
Exhibits King’s supremacy

Wisdom

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.

James 3:17

Monday, November 16, 2009

The Beloved Burford the Stoodle

On our way to see the town of Burford, in Cotswolds of England, Kelsey and I created a Children's book character! His name is Burford and he's a stoodle. What is a stoodle, one might ask? Well, I am pleased to enlighten you. Burford is the only one of his kind. He looks slightly like a bear. He has cute cuddly ears, and a big fluffy body. And he's blue. Burford lives under the big knotty roots of Mr. Tree. Mr. Tree tickles Burford with his roots in the morning to wake him up. Burford is enamored with leaves, he collects them and sleeps on them for his bed. He burrows into them until only his butt and little tail stick out. And yes, he has polk-a-dots on his butt. But considering he can't see them, he doesn't believe they're actually there. He has a big towel that he keeps on a large spool in his cave. Whenever he gets wet, which he hates, he pulls out his huge towel and rub rub rubs it on his back and wiggle wiggle wiggles his little polk-a-dotted bottom. He also keeps a comb in his cave, which he used to keep his fur nice and soft. Burford is known for his big belly laugh, which can wake up the whole forest. His favorite pastime is to roll down grassy hills. He just plunks down and down his big cuddly body rolls!
As for his friends, Burford's best friend is Murdle the Curly Tailed Squirrel. But don't mention to him his curly tail, for Murdle is very sensative about it. He also lives in Mr. Tree. He chatters away quickly, sometime too rapidly for Burford, and that is how they get into their crazy hairbrained adventures. They are also friends with Priscilla the Butterfly. Well, Burford and Priscilla are friends. She and Murdle don't always get along, you see. Murdle the Squirrel like to call her names like "Prissy" or "Miss Priss" and that does not go over well with our little butterfly friend!
But they all live happily and peacefully. And Burford the Stoodle is unbelievably cute and lovable!
More about Burford to follow!!!

Monday, October 26, 2009

Come To Me

Come to me, you weary one
And I will give you rest
I will give you rest
Come to me you weary one
And I will give you rest
I will give you rest
For my yoke is easy
and my burden is light
Take me upon you
I will give you rest

Come to me you broken ones
And I will give you peace
I will give you peace
Come to me you broken one
And I will give you peace
I will give you peace
I will calm your waters
And whisper "Peace, Be Still"
Take me upon you
I will give you peace

Come To Me...
Come To Me...
Come to Me...
I have been waiting for you here.

Come to me you burdened one
And I will give you joy
I will give you joy
Come to me you burdened one
And I will give you joy
You will fly like eagles
And my joy will be your strength
Take me upon you
I will give you joy

Come to Me...
Come to Me...
Come to Me...
I have been waiting for you here
He has been waiting for you here

Come to Him.
Come find your peace.
Come find your rest.
Come find your joy.
He is waiting here for you.
He is waiting with open arms for you.
He'll embrace your heart and love you.
He is waiting...

--Kari Jobe

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

3 Views of Oxford from 3 Points of View

View 1: Student on the way to the Bodleian Library (down Parks Road)

I breathe in the crystal thin morning air
Fresh breeze and shy sunshine by layer
The grey sky above is a slate wiped clean
It inspires thought and jolly adventure

Down the lane, all the brick houses peer
Through windows that glimmer with cheer
My boots crunch the carpet of gold, dried leaves
Which breaks the suspended still

I’m at the main road just as the world stirs
The bicycles clack while the cars go whir
Then the rain starts to fall, slowly at first
Painting stones with a dotted pattern

Cobblestones flow ahead, moist and smooth
To their own rhythm they ebb and move
The world seems cloaked in a misty silver
And against it, all colors shine truer

The ivy flashes like an emerald jewel
The trees pose vividly, red and gold duel.
And then, at the end of this shadowy road
Are libraries, so full of historical allure.

The buildings hold their stances proud
Ripe with age, they seem to say aloud:
“Enter these doors as so many before,
May a plethora of wisdom abound.”



View 2: Older Woman walking in University Parks

Her legs might not be young, but her eyes still shine with the light of a youthful soul. She walks along the pathway, taking in every aspect of the golden autumn afternoon with a slow upward tilt of her head. The trees about her rustle and shake their golden heads in merriment. The pond gently ripples in the afternoon light, quivering with reflection of the surrounding greenery. The air is fresh and sweet with the smell of cinnamon and apples and wood smoke.
Her cane falters over the slight rolls in the grass, prodding the soft ground before she trusts it. She slowly moves towards her favorite bench tucked under a banner of orange and red trees. She knows all the shadowy hollows, every hidden path in these parks. She’s rambled through them dozens of times in every kind of weather. Today, the air shimmers crisp and clear, and she can see perfectly in every direction. Fields of green are dotted with dandelions and the spires of Oxford rise magnificently above the trees. A small sigh of contentment escapes her lips as she sinks carefully onto the hard wood of the bench. The warm sun tingles delightfully on her back as the warmth mixes playfully with the cooler breeze.
A squeal breaks through the quiet and a young boy scampers down towards the water at full speed. His small legs can barely keep up with his energy. Right at his heals comes his mother, juggling his coat, hat, scarves, and gloves. Laughing merrily at his enthusiasm, she warns him to keep clear of the cold water. He still gets dangerously close to the edge, throwing bread crumbs viscously at the lazy ducks. They cackle at him noisily and his high giggle peels across the water. The old woman smiles a slow, sure smile that lights up her face. The wrinkles around her eyes are evidence of years full of that same smile.
When the mother and son sit down to a picnic, the afternoon once again turns tranquil. The trees still whisper and the ducks continue to chat, but the old woman can hear the distant bell chime two o’clock. The mellow sunlight through the trees creates a kaleidoscope of dappled shadows. It’s a perfect autumn afternoon. In utter peace, the old woman’s head droops slightly as she nods off into a contented sleep.



View 3: Dialogue (One-Sided) of a woman walking down Cornmarket Street with a friend

“Goodness! It’s so busy down on Cornmarket tonight! Look at that mob! Such an awful lot of heads bobbing about. Just look at that, dear! Why’d Susanne choose this pub again? Oh yes, that’s right. We like this one. Very cozy, great wine selection. Yes, yes I do remember now. We should hurry so she won’t be waiting on us. Whew, feel that wind. The minute the sun starts going down it does get chilly doesn’t it? I’m so glad I got my raincoat. It looks like we might see a little rain later...Oh! Oh my goodness! That boy almost got ran over by that car! Scared me half to death! Those bicyclists take their own life into their hands, that’s for certain. I would not want to witness that collision. It’s just so hectic around here, how do these drivers stop from killing people on their way home? Yes, yes I suppose you’re right. One becomes good at anything if they do it enough. This crosswalk is certainly taking forever to turn green. Oh, here we go! Come along dear, don’t get lost in the crowd. I do hope that Jim puts the kiddies to bed on time, they have school tomorrow, you know. Will you look at those scarves! Such bright, beautiful colors, aren’t they? I know, I love them too. I have a positive weakness for them actually. They’re such a temptation when they are sold right on the street. I’ve bought...well I won’t tell you how many scarves I own. It’s a ridiculous amount I assure you. Oh, listen to that guitar. It’s a nice little tune actually. Some of the street performers along here are quite odd. Yes, I’ve seen the dancer as well. It does add color the city, I’ll give you that. Have you seen the violinist who plays on a tight rope? It’s really the craziest thing…
No thank you sir, not tonight. What even is a Big Issue, dear? Do you know? Well yes, I see. Come along, dear. We’re almost there. Look at that group of kids, just hanging around that bench. I hope that girl isn’t smoking, though I wouldn’t be surprised. Yes, she is! I could smell it as we walked by. Not good for her poor lungs. It almost looks like we are smoking too; it’s cold enough to see your breath in front of you. Excuse us, excuse us! Sometimes you have to push a bit, you know? Oh finally, here we are at last! I’m so looking forward to a cozy, full, warm room to relax in. Look, I see Susanne ordering her merlot at the bar. Come along, dear.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Psalm 73: 22-26

I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.

Yet You are always with me;
you hold me by my right hand.

You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.

Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Joyful Days!

"Find ecstasy in life; the mere sense of living is joy enough."-Emily Dickinson 

"With an eye made quiet by the power of harmony, and the deep power of joy, we see into the life of things." -William Wordsworth

Friday, September 25, 2009

Oh to be Happy

I skip over cobblestones
Down a lane overhung
With autumn leaves a cherry red
And I'm young again

I breath in the air
It swells in my chest
It causes a bubble
Of laughter to begin

A heart so light it floats
High to the sky above
And from the heights
My pulse beats alive

Oh to be happy
It must be divine
My skin will burst
Full of this golden light
"Love to faults is always blind, always is to joy inclined. Lawless, winged, and unconfined, and breaks all chains from every mind."
--William Shakespeare

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Beautiful Moment

Sometimes life in its beauty stuns you. It hits you at the most random moments. Since being here, I've realized how intricately tied are the different lovely aspects of this life. Architecture...music...history...food...art...nature...literature... These things are a part of what makes us alive, truly alive.
I'm sitting in the upstairs portion of my favorite coffee shop. It's painted a soft green, there's artwork hanging on the walls and fresh flowers on the tables. There's a fire place in one corner by the bookshelves stocked with books. I've got my tea in a huge mug and my homework spread out all over the table. The window next to me is open and I can feel the mellow autumn sunshine. Outside is a beautiful brick building, probably hundreds of years old, covered in vines and sheltered by green trees. Right next door out the open window, is the moss-covered roof of the pub where CS Lewis and JR Tolkien sat and discussed life. The clouds are starting to cover the sun and I can smell coolness in the air. The couple across the room are talking gently to each other in French. The older gentleman sitting on the couch wearing a jacket and glasses is deep in a book, ignoring his chocolate muffin. And here I am, soaking it all in with the soft strains of piano music in my headphones while pondering the literary influence of King Arthur and Robin Hood on British nationalism.
Sometimes all those beautiful aspects of life collide together at once...and they create a perfect moment.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Quote of the Day

"Pride and Prejudice is so intense! I mean its no Bourne Identity but I'm still at the edge of my seat!" -Annalyssa

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

London Itinerary

TUESDAY
1. Airplane Trip to Heathrow Airport (Hell...or if that's a bit extreme, at least an extremely uncomfortable, claustrophobic, sleepless Purgatory)
2. Tube ride to Hotel (Ecstatic...I loved my first glimpse of England. It is everything I'd hoped.)
3. Check in to Hotel (Cute...a doll's size room with a view of a cobblestone street)
4. Lunch/ Dinner at Wagamama (Delicious...I was starving! And those noodles were so good)
5. Walk to the Bus Station (Rainy...which I love! On our walk we saw Kensington Gardens. We might have gotten a tad lost too)
6. Bus ride on a double decker bus! (Idyllic...what could London be without a big red bus! We saw the closer half of the city until we were too exhausted to go any farther)
7. Gelato (Mint Chip...what else?)
8. Grocery Shop at the nearby market for breakfast food (Um....too tired to remember much about that.)
9. Early to Bed (Needed...I was pretty cranky I can't lie. So bed was pretty heavenly)

WEDNESDAY
1. Donuts! (Yum)
2. Double Decker Bus (Amazing!...we saw the rest of the city. All the tourist spots like Big Ben, London Eye, Tower Bridge, London Bridge, Tower of London, St. Paul's, and pretty much all the cool, beautiful, historic parts of the city! We listened on headphones and got a ton of background history. You wouldn't believe all the views we got from the top story of the bus. I loved it that it sprinkled a bit too! This was one of those surreal experiences. I was just sitting there thinking, "This can't be happening to me")
3. Lunch to go. We ate it at a park in front of an old church (Perfect...paninis and salad and a beautiful quiet garden)
4. More getting lost and riding around on the tube (Still fun...I am getting a hang of the tube! Slowly but surely! My foot did get stuck in one of the entrance gates, but that's a bit too embarrassing to talk about. In one of the stations, someone was playing the saxophone which echoed beautifully all through the tunnels. Also, my mom and I got so wrapped up in people watching that we even missed our exit)
5. A cruise down the Thames River (Wow...we saw more stunning views of the city, went under all the different bridges, and got glimpses of the Shakespeare Globe, extremely old pubs, the Tate Museum, and more of Big Ben and the rest of London's fabulous skyline)
6. The Tower of London (Well...we just walked around the grounds which were surprisingly gorgeous. We're going inside tomorrow. It's the most medieval building still standing in London. It looks terrifying and pretty and historic all wrapped into one.)
8. Coffee Break (Rejuvenating...cutest little cafe overlooking the Tower Bridge. We watched the rain pour outside the window and sipped frothy coffees in real mugs)
7. Westminster Abbey (Historic...of course it was beautiful; it made me want to just sit down in awe to pray. The ceilings were my favorite and the stain glass windows came in close second. But hands down, the best part for me was the historical aspect. I saw the tombs of Queen Elizabeth, several King Henry's and Edwards, Mary Queen of Scots, and Chaucer. I mean...wow. That's a ton of really historical figures just right there. Not to mention the hundreds more tombs that were there, along with all the tiny chapels tucked away and dedicated to famous historical figures. Some oddities: a monument to Shakespeare (in a church?!) and the tomb of evolutionist Charles Darwin.)
8. Trafalgar Square to the National Gallery (Bummer...it ended up being closed, we got our times wrong. But the square was beautiful at dusk with fountains and monuments and the glistening wet streets from the rain.)
9. Dinner (Fabulous...I was hungry. We went to this really cute Italian place. Who said English food was bad? So far, we haven't had a bad meal! We had pizza and salad and I think I almost ate the entire pizza by myself!)
10. Back to the hotel (Bedtime...early start tomorrow)

WEDNESDAY
1. Tower of London (Medieval....I couldn't believe i was standing in THE Tower of London. It was insanely cool. There was still etchings in the cells from prisoners. Much of the tower was blocked off, we only saw a few cells. The rest was old chapels and bed chambers for the royalty that stayed there in times of distress. I thought it was interesting they really were trying to make it seem like a glorified castle rather than the grim place it really used to be. The grounds were beautiful though! Who would have thought? And it was sooo old! That's what blew my mind. Sitting in the middle of this thriving city is this almost perfectly reserved place of history. So much history.)
2. Buckingham Palace. (Stately...just like a place for royalty should be. We didn't go inside or in the gardens in back because they charge absurd amounts, but it was fun to see it. The park next to it was sprawling acres of green gorgeousness. While walking around the grounds we ate some ham paninis!)
3. British Library (Awesome....being a massive book lover, this blew me away. There was an exhibition where we saw first edition Shakespeare, handwritten notes of Jane Austen, handwritten jottings of Bach, Handel, Beetoven, and the Beatles! There was drawings of Di Vinci as well! All in their own hands, it was so cool! The library itself was many stories tall just full of shelves of books. I could have been there for hours!)
4. Quick change into clothes to go see Les Miserables (Little black dress!)
5. Dinner (So good...at this little Italian place next to the theatre. Their lasagna was to die for! It was fun to be a bit dressed up too!)
6. Les Miserables (Speechless...I laughed, I cried. I knew I loved the story and the music, but you put it all together with some great actors and singers and you get chills! It was unbelievable I didn't want it to end! And the music has been stuck in my head ever since! Such an amazing experience).
7. Get ready Oxford here I come!

Friday, August 14, 2009

The Ocean

“The Four Winds Lighthouse was built on a spur of red sandstone cliff jutting out into the gulf. On one side, across the channel, stretched the silvery sand shore of the bar; on the other, extended a long, curving beach of red cliffs, rising steeply from the pebbled coves. It was a shore that knew the magic and mystery of storm and star. There is a great solitude about such a shore. The woods are never solitary—they are full of whispering, beckoning, friendly life. But the sea is a mighty soul, forever moaning of some great unshareable sorrow, which shuts itself up into itself for all eternity. We can never pierce its infinite mystery—we may only wander, awed and spell-bound, on the outer fringe of it. The woods call to us with a hundred voices, but the sea has only one—a mighty voice that drowns our souls in its majestic music. The woods are human, but the sea is of the company of archangels.”
--L.M. Montgomery: “Anne’s House of Dreams”

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Look Up

I’m sitting here pondering
Life…oh, this thing we call life
How can we measure it
As it spreads across time

There’s no way to know it
Only uncertainty is clear
It seems we don’t even understand
Our own reflections in the mirror

Those sands of time keep on shifting
Patterns of change push us on
But towards what? Towards whom?
Will the pain be short or long?

As we’re herded along
Marched onward by time
One step, then the next
With hardly reason or rhyme

There are those moments
When we must sink to the ground
Lift up our tear stained faces
And ask the sky out loud:

How can we grasp in our fingers
The memories we can’t let slip
While still being ready
For the road’s next curve or dip?

How can we truly love
Those who can't seem to love us?
Can we give from a heart
That knows the meaning of mistrust?

How can we be certain
Of decisions good and pure and right
Is there a way to be sure
Our emotions stay true to light?

How can we really prepare
For what life throws at us next
Will I crumble, will I fail
Will I live up to my best?

I think of heaven sometimes,
When the world is full of pain and toil
And I slowly feel my soul
As it begins to unwind, uncoil

I imagine a place
Where beauty abounds
The heart rests at peace
It sings its joys aloud

I imagine a place
Where all ugliness and strife
Melts away so simply
You can’t remember sorrows of life

I imagine a place
Full to the brim with love
So that I’m utterly fulfilled,
Content, and lacking none

I imagine a light
That fiercely illuminates all
So that evil’s not a thought
And I can’t ever fall

To think of this place
Is to bring beauty to our days
It reminds us of a light
That guides us on our way

Yes, time keeps us moving
But not towards what’s unknown
We step always heavenward
As we press on, we’re not alone.


"I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained. Join with others in following my example, brothers, and take note of those who live according to the pattern we gave you. For, as I have often told you before and now say again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body."
Phil. 3:14-20

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

An Invitation

1 "Come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without cost.

2 Why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.

3 Give ear and come to me;
hear me, that your soul may live.
I will make an everlasting covenant with you,
my faithful love promised to David.
4 See, I have made him a witness to the peoples,
a leader and commander of the peoples.

5 Surely you will summon nations you know not,
and nations that do not know you will hasten to you,
because of the LORD your God,
the Holy One of Israel,
for he has endowed you with splendor."

6 Seek the LORD while he may be found;
call on him while he is near.
7 Let the wicked forsake his way
and the evil man his thoughts.
Let him turn to the LORD, and he will have mercy on him,
and to our God, for he will freely pardon.

8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.
9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.

10 As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

12 You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.
13 Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree,
and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
This will be for the LORD's renown,
for an everlasting sign,
which will not be destroyed."

ISAIAH 55

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Just One of Those Days

So I am scheduled to house sit for the Smith family for a whole week, and am looking forward to ruling the roost in a house, even if it's just for a week.
I headed over there tonight, armed with my bag, my pillow, and a whole gallon of my favorite mint chip ice cream. I was worried about its lifespan, considering it was 104 degrees here in lovely Auburn today. So I just blasted the air conditioning all the way to the house, thinking how much I was looking forward to an evening of cable, ice cream, and some peace and quiet.
When I got there, I bolted for the house as fast as I could juggling my big armload. Just the walk from the car to the house left me sweating. It's way too hot here. I fit the key into the lock and...nothing. It wouldn't turn. "My arms can't be that weak," I thought, and applied more force. The bag was getting heavy on my shoulder and I started getting antsy from the heat. Still the key wouldn't budge left or right. I walked around the house and tried all four doors, same result. Their three legged dog, Lucky, followed me from door to door, looking at me with big expectant brown eyes. The heat was almost unbearable. To top it off, the back door had a heavy screen door that slammed fiercely on my heel. Suddenly, I had blood dripping down my leg. Great. Just great. And it hurt too.
After another round of unsuccessful tries, I headed over the neighbor's house (with a slight limp), hoping they would know what to do. I hoped I was walking up to the right house...that could be potentially awkward. And why dear God is it so hot? I kept thinking. All the while, my poor ice cream sits on the porch.
The neighbors, who were friends, were super sweet. After walking with me across the street to try all the doors again (did they just assume I had weak arms? Did they not believe I knew how to turn a key?), they deemed the key unworkable, and invited me into the blessedly air conditioned house. They're in the midst of moving, so their house was a bit turned upside down. The wife started to rifle through a huge stack of crinkled papers on the island counter, looking for Mrs. Smith's cell number. As the pile of papers seemed to grow in front of my eyes, I was still thinking about the ice cream...melting on the front porch. I have no idea how anyone could find anything in that stack of papers, but eventually she did.
Of course the cell phone number didn't work, she is in Mexico with no service. We tried calling all the other friends and neighbors, but no one had a key. We spent another 15 minutes trying to remember the name of the hotel they are staying at. We finally remembered that it was Club Med, we had to look it up online. Now neither husband or wife were very internet savvy. They managed to pull up a map of how to get to Cancun, a bunch of Spanish websites, and a toll free number that turned out to be an automated voice system entirely in Spanish... all of which did us absolutely no good.
The minutes dragged, but eventually they were able to get an actual hotel number. More Spanish. "I'm just going to push a random number" the wife said. Luckily (the first lucky thing that happened!), it worked and she was connected with the front desk. We left a message for them in their hotel room and that was all we could do. By then, the sun had started to set, and I was homeward bound once again. So much for my peaceful quiet night.
By the time I drove away with my soggy gallon of ice cream, I was still slightly frazzled. Not nearly as bad as the time I had to pee in the cup for the drug test (another story, another time), but still. Now there's no moral to this story, no happy God-thought that came out of it. I did get a melted ice cream and a bloody leg. And I did learn that it's way too hot in the state of California (maybe i'll move to...Seattle?). But it did make me laugh and I had to think, "It's just one of those days."

Saturday, July 11, 2009

A Tidbit About Girls...

"Eve is given to Adam as his ezer kenegdo- or as his "help meet"... helper. Doesn't sound like much does it? It makes me think of Hamburger Helper. However, the word is notoriously difficult to translate, and it means something far more powerful... "lifesaver". The phrase is only used elsewhere of God, when you need him to come through for you desperately. Eve is a lifegiver, she's Adam's ally. It is to both of them that the charter for adventure is given. It will take both of them to sustain life.
Eve is fallen though. Not even the extravagance of Eden could convince her that God's heart is good. When Eve was deceived , the artistry of women took a fateful dive into the barren places of control and loneliness. Now every daughter of Eve wants to control her surroundings, her relationships, her God. No longer is she vulnerable; now she will be grasping. Now she has trouble simply sharing in the adventure, she likes to control it. And as for her beauty, she either hides it in fear and anger, or she uses it to secure her place in the world. In her fear that no one will speak on her behalf, or protect her, or fight for her, she starts to manipulate her surroundings so she doesn't feel defenseless.
Fallen Eve either becomes rigid or she becomes clingy. Eve is no longer simply inviting. She struggles with hiding in busyness, or demanding Adam to rescue her; often it is a combination of both...."
-John Eldridge

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old...

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.  It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here goes:

 1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
 2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
 3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
 4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
 5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
 6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree. Both of you could be right at the same time.
 7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
 8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
 9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
 10. Love your parents because they will be gone before you know it.
 11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
 12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
 13. Don't compare your life to others' lives. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
 14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
 15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
 16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
 17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful, or joyful.
 18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
 19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
 20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
 21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
 22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
 23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
 24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
 25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
 26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'
 27. Always choose to be happy, then you will.
 28. Forgive everyone everything.
 29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
 30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
 31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
 32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
 33. Believe in miracles.  Then you see when they happen.
 34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
 35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
 36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
 37. Your children get only one childhood.
 38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
 39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere. Besides, sunshine makes you feel happy.
 40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
 41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
 42. The best is yet to come.
 43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, and show up.
 44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.  Open it and say 'Thank you.                 

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Bouquet

There’s something about the heady mixture of pine trees, red dirt, and crisp air that gets me all lit up inside. The smell of the mountains, the view of the lake, the tall trees against a blue sky….I love it. I went camping this weekend. I love to camp, I feel like a little girl again and I’m going on a big adventure. I love the smell of campfire smoke, I love the sound of the tent unzipping, I love being cozy in a sleeping bag, I love hot dogs and smores, I love playing card games, I love being able to be grungy and dirty and not worry about showering, I love swimming in the lake, I love the sound of crickets, I love just sitting around for hours in the camp chairs just chatting and telling stories, I love how fresh everything smells, I love how quiet it is.

I always feel like I have time to think and just be still when I’m camping. So here’s what my thoughts were occupied with…

The more we drove out of town, the more I felt burdens lifted off of me. The higher we climbed up the windy road, the more my spirits heightened. To be in the middle of nature is amazing. Something in my soul always unwinds. When we pulled up to the lake campsite, the sun was just setting. The clouds were billowing, pink and yellow with the setting sun. The tall trees surrounding the still water were tipped in mellow gold. There was a slight mist coming off the shining lake, and it looked like the water was glass and reflecting all the colors of the rainbow. I was…well, like a little girl, all aglow with delight. I couldn’t help it!

After we set up camp and ate, and did all that practical stuff, my sisters and I sat on the dock and dangled our feet in the lake. The stars were starting to come out, and their reflection in the lake was… stunning.

Stars never fail to amaze me. I look up, and I love feeling so small. It puts everything back into perspective for me. In all honesty, I could use a lot more time just looking up at the stars. Back at the camp site, we put our sleeping bags outside, curled up in them, and found a spot among the trees where the sky was visible. The tall pine trees were still shadowy and golden, flickering from the fire that was slowly dying just a few feet away. The black sky was peeking through and there were so many glistening stars…

It was breathtaking. Words sometimes are so hard to pin down. I was utterly content. My arm was looped through Paige's and Shelby's head was resting on my shoulder. I wanted to just be there, mesmerized by the stars, totally peaceful, forever. On my ipod, one of my favorite worship songs came on. I thought it was so very perfect. The lyrics go like this,

“See the way He holds the stars in His hands. See the way He holds my heart.
With just one word from Your mouth were the heavens made. With just one sound from Your lips, the foundations were laid. With just one thought of Your mind, You have wanted me. With just one pulse of Your heart, You are wooing me. You are wooing me.
For God is a lover looking for a lover, so he fashioned me…God is a lover looking for a lover, so He formed my heart.
See the way he holds the stars in His hands, see the way He holds my heart.”

Laying on my back, looking up at the stars cluttering the sky, I thought “I think God is wooing me”. I like it that He holds my heart. It’s so comforting. If He can hold all those stars, He can definitely the only one truly capable of loving me, wooing me, holding me in the way I long for. He can hold something as grand as the stars, and treasure something as delicate as my heart.

As I was thinking all this, suddenly lightning streaked across the sky. It was followed closely by a deep roll of thunder.

I’m pretty sure I got chills.

“No way.” I thought. That didn’t just happen. I LOVE thunderstorms. Always have. They absolutely awe me. Just when I thought the night couldn’t get any better, it did!

Someone once told me that she looked at nature and thought of it as “God’s bouquet of flowers for me”. I loved that, and I thought about that comment as God pulled out all the stops. The sunset, the lake, the stars, the lightning and thunder….it’s God saying He loves me. It’s His way of wooing me with a bouquet of flowers (or pine trees, sunsets, stars, and thunder).

Wow.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Psalm 121

1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?

2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;

4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;

8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Peace Transcends Understanding

Doubts. Fears.
No answers, just void.
Empty inside
One foot forward
Now the next
So heavy
When can I rest

Dull thud,
My heart drums
Distant in my ear
A dull ache,
Constantly there
If pain gives strength
Why do I still break

Tangled mess
Heart and mind battle
Hands grip tight
Clenching white
So thrashed
Tired of seeing the world
Through bloodshot eyes


Calm. Peace.
Still quiet
But fulfilled inside
One foot forward
Not labored or heavy
Wanting the next step
I finally feel rest

Pitter pat
My heart skips
That's how that feels
I'd almost forgotten
With a flitter
Bitter hurt
Slips into oblivion

Strength comes with time
Heart and mind align
Hands outstretch
Open palms face up
Pain left no trace
See the world
In rose colored shades

PEACE...
--"Her ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace."
--"But the meek will inherit the land and enjoy great peace."
--"Consider the blameless, observe the upright; there is a future for the man of peace."
-- "I will listen to what God the LORD will say; he promises peace to his people, his saints— but let them not return to folly."
--"Love and faithfulness meet together; righteousness and peace kiss each other."
--"Great peace have they who love your law, and nothing can make them stumble."
--"There is deceit in the hearts of those who plot evil, but joy for those who promote peace."
--"A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones."
--"When a man's ways are pleasing to the LORD, he makes even his enemies live at peace with him."
--"Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife."
--"My covenant was with him, a covenant of life and peace, and I gave them to him; this called for reverence and he revered me and stood in awe of my name."
--"True instruction was in his mouth and nothing false was found on his lips. He walked with me in peace and uprightness, and turned many from sin."
--"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God."
--"If the home is deserving, let your peace rest on it; if it is not, let your peace return to you."
--"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
--"Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you."
--"Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace."
--"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful."
--"May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ."
--"Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you."

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up sage in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless- it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, imprenetrable, irredeemable." -C.S. Lewis

Monday, June 1, 2009

Africa

Blank, dark eyes
Staring long; pierce my heart
Deep wells of sorrow
They've seen lives torn apart

Smooth, dark skin
Small hands grasping mine
I reach and grab on
Black and white entwine

These children melt me
My heart constricts
Their precious glances
Not possible to forget

The memory remains
Imprinted in my mind
It never strays far
Frozen in time

A parade of young faces
Lined deep with pain
Yet I see their smiles
I hear the refrain

The lilt of joyful words
Lifted up in sweet song
Across the desert sand
The note holds long

This image is clear
Playing round in my head
Next time I feel selfish
I think of them instead

Monday, May 25, 2009

Relentless Love

"God cast a man and a woman out of Paradise. Yet, for all their human flaws and failures, God shows them a way back in:
Love the Lord your God, and love one another. Love one another as He loves. Love with strength and purpose and passion and no matter what comes against you. Don't weaken. Stand against darkness. And always love. That's the way back into Eden. That's the way into life."
-Francine River's "Redeeming Love"

I was re-reading Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. It's a retelling of the Hosea story. Most girls love her book because it's a tender, beautiful love story. It's about the unconditional love a man has for his wife. She is a hardened, battered woman who was forced into prostitution at the age of 8. Just as in the Bible story, the Lord told Michael to marry her and woo Angel. With incredible tenderness, he breaks down the walls she's built over the years of unimaginable abuse. He teaches her how to love, to feel clean, and how to forget her troubled past. He loves her as though she is the most precious, lovely woman in the entire world. When she runs away, turns her back on Michael, and chooses to be a prostitute again, he doesn't give up on her. Instead, he pursues her, forgives her, and loves her just the same.
What many readers don't see is that while the book is a beautiful story of a husband and wife, no man will be that perfect. No, the story is a metaphor for how Christ loves us. No matter how dirty we are, no matter how often we turn our backs on Him, no matter how much we decline His love, He still gives it freely. Now that is a stunning, tender love story. No matter what other loves we pursue, His voice whispers, "Beloved, come back to me". With a love like that, how can we not pour our own meager love out onto others?
Love is how we make it in this world. The Lord relentlessly loves, pursues, and forgives us. And we in turn should love others in the same manner. Love is the most beautiful thing there is.

Hosea 2:13-16
She decked herself with rings and jewelry,
and went after her lovers,
but me she forgot,"
declares the LORD.
"Therefore I am now going to allure her;
I will lead her into the desert
and speak tenderly to her.
There I will give her back her vineyards,
and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope.
There she will sing as in the days of her youth,
as in the day she came up out of Egypt.
16 "In that day," declares the LORD,
"you will call me 'my husband';
you will no longer call me 'my master. '

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Change in the Winds

I sit here, in my empty dorm room. Honestly, it's incredibly depressing. My heart aches. I'm sad to leave here. The bare mattress, the empty book shelves, the scrubbed counters. So many memories dance through this small space. My dearest friends have come and gone through this door. I've cried countless nights on this bed, but I've also had valuable girl talk curled up on this blanket. I've had dance parties on this carpet. I've pulled all nighters at this desk. I comforted, I listened, I complained, I broke, I healed, I laughed, I stressed...I grew. All in this room.
You can't stop change. It creeps upon you, shoving you forward into that scary unknown. I hate the black abyss we call the future. I try to imagine it, decipher it, figure it out. But it remains allusive, often shocking me with its surprises. I hate moving on. I cling, holding on tightly to what is familiar, what is secure, what is lovable.
Tomorrow I am leaving friends nearest and dearest to my heart. What will have changed when I return to them? How will we have grown up even more? My heart aches at the thought of leaving them, and of leaving this particular time in my life.
You can't stop change. There is a season for everything in this life, or so Ecclesiastes says. But what if you like the current season? How can you tell change to "hold it right there, don't come any closer". Yes, the future may be bright and beautiful, but it is different. This time in my life: the hairbrained, overwhelmed with figuring myself out, crazy 12 units of Torrey with my Plato family, living in nerdy Sigma with my roomie, feeling like an underclassman...that time in life is now over.
To be content in any situation...ah, how often I fail. But sometimes, contentment finds you. And in that moment, you count all your blessings and you find yourself incredibly grateful. So, even though I am sad to be moving forward in life, I am so thankful. I am thankful for the loving and growing I've done with my dear ones, even just within these walls. I am thankful for my moment of contentment, of being filled up with marvelous blessings.
I wish I could face the future and say bravely "bring on the change! I'm ready". But I'm not always that brave. I am, however, sure of a few things: memories are beautiful, friends are always beloved, and God loves to bless us with contentment if we just trust in Him, even during change.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Best Book Ever...My Blue Castle

Valancy looked--and looked--and looked again. There was a diaphanous, lilac mist on the lake, shrouding the island. Through it the two enormous pine-trees that clasped hands over Barney's shack loomed out like dark turrets. Behind them was a sky still
rose-hued in the afterlight, and a pale young moon.

Valancy shivered like a tree the wind stirs suddenly. Something seemed to sweep over her soul.

"My Blue Castle!" she said. "Oh, my Blue Castle!"

They got into the canoe and paddled out to it. They left behind
the realm of everyday and things known and landed on a realm of
mystery and enchantment where anything might happen--anything might be true. Barney lifted Valancy out of the canoe and swung her to a lichen-covered rock under a young pine-tree. His arms were about her and suddenly his lips were on hers. Valancy found herself shivering with the rapture of her first kiss.

"Welcome home, dear," Barney was saying.

The Snow is Not Forever

In the stillness
Snow falls silently
The ground is white
Pure white
The cold bites
Stinging cheeks red
There is nothing
All around is empty
Just blank space
Flurries of white
Against a gray sky
And more silence
The hush of snowfall
You are all alone

But close your eyes
See white blossoms
Spiral softly down
A dress of pure white
A pink blush
Stains the cheek
All around are faces
Eyes full of smiles
Petals of white
Dot the ground
As you walk
Airily to him
And you'll never
Be alone again.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

P.S.

So I had finished writing the below post and the next day I came across this verse...I couldn't believe my eyes...
"This is what the Lord says: Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls." Jeremiah 6:16
So amazingly perfect for what I've been feeling!