From "Blue Like Jazz"

ABOUT SELFLESSNESS...

"My life testifies that the first thing I believe is that I am the most important person in the world. My life testifies to this because I care more about my happiness than about anybody else. I am learning to believe better things. I am learning to believe that other people exist, that fashion is not truth; rather, Jesus is the most important figure in history, and the gospel is the most powerful force in the universe. I am learning not to be passionate about empty things, but to cultivate passion for justice, grace, truth, and communicate the idea that Jesus likes people and even LOVES them."

"For a moment, sitting above the city, I imagined life outside narcissism. I wondered how beautiful it might be to think of others as more important than myself. I wondered at how peaceful it might be not to be pestered by this childish voice that wants for pleasure and attention. I wondered what it would be like not to live in a house of mirrors, everywhere I go being reminded of myself. I think every well-adjusted-human being has dealt squarely with his or her own depravity. I think Jesus feels strongly about communicating the idea of our brokenness, and I think it is worth reflection. Nothing can change in the Congo until you and I figure out what is wrong with the person in the mirror."
--Donald Miller

I feel you in my heart...But I don't even know you now
I see you in my dreams...But you don't care for me somehow
I hold you in my thoughts...But you don't even remember me
How can you not still see what we used to be
Who am I and who are you...One has become two
But that doesn't seem to bother you
How do we fit into the scheme of things...
Was the love only a lie... just a tease
I've let you go...But you don't even notice it
I smile bravely so you can't see my attachment
I hurt each day ...But you don't care to stop my pain
By now I'm getting strong enough to keep tears at bay
I want your security...But you don't seem to need my support
So here I go...Watch me find someone who wants my heart as bad as I want yours

"The object of the writer is to show the tremendous influence of the environment on the human character and destiny" --Stephen Crane.

Friends

Friends are the salt of the earth. The joy of life. The breath of spring air. The melody line in music. What would a girl do without good friends? Sure, nails would be left unpainted and we'd go crazy from not enough gab time. But in all honesty, I am so thankful for good friends. There is something so wonderful about being uplifted by friends who whole heartedly love you. Who want the best for you and allow you to be 100% yourself. No matter what state you're in.
I thank God for sisters. I feel bad for any girl who doesn't get to experience the blessing of having built in best friends. Right now I'm thinking of ice cream in dark rooms, listening to the rain. I'm thinking of dance parties. I'm thinking about sitting on the roof (and me freaking out). I'm thinking about 3 hour phone conversations. I'm thinking about Gilmore Girls and Friends. I'm thinking about all three of us squooshed on a twin bed. So this is a thank you to my sisses.
Right now, I'm also bursting with gratefulness for wise women! I pray that one day I'll be one! I hope that I can be that loving and wise and kind. That I will have the answers to all of life's problems, that I will remember what it's like to be 19. I know that my life's experiences are teaching me to be someone who can impart love and wisdom by sharing what I've learned. It's amazing to think that one day I will be in their shoes, dealing with a new set of experiences, and other girls will be in my place, feeling things similar to what I feel now. I hope that I will be able to pour into them as much wisdom and love as has been poured into me.

"Friendship is the single soul dwelling in two bodies"--Aristotle.
"The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it."--Ralph Waldo Emerson
"The friendship that can cease has never been real." --Saint Jerome
"I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don't believe I deserved my friends." --Walt Whitman
"A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same." --Elbert Hubbard
"Friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life." --Thomas Jefferson
"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom." --Marcel Proust
"There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship." --Saint Thomas Aquinas

We dream of no end,
no hello's and no goodbye's
We dream of no fear,
no being wrong or questions why
We dream of holding everything dear,
squeezed tightly in our hands
We dream of freedom, not loneliness.
We dream of love with a chance
We'll be waiting for heaven I guess
Only there is beauty endless

"Love is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person to bring that relationship to a right standing before God."

"She loved being out alone at night. she liked the great white clouds that occasionally sailed over the stars. she felt as she always felt, when alone with the night, that she shared some lovely secret with the darkness."-L.M Montgomery

Memories

Memories are like chocolate: bitter sweet and melting softly away, leaving just a lingering aftertaste that isn't as enticing as the real thing.
People come and go. Life is a steady stream of time. The water can be still, bleakly stretching into the future. Or, you might be tossed about in a turbulent flurry with harsh temperatures and stinging saltiness on your face. And then there are the beautiful spaces in time where the light glows on your face and the water gently tugs you towards a horizon streaked with the colors of a sunset.
But anyway you look at it, you are moving forward. Sometimes, almost always unexpectedly, a taste, a smell, a sound triggers a memory. You taste all of it's sweetness... you can feel the warmth on your face, you can picture those eyes, you can remember that feeling...but all too soon the sweetness turns bitter, for it is a place far removed and a person long gone.
How much should we look back? How much should we anticipate the future?
Time moves us on...all too quickly. So take it all in now. Embrace it. This moment. It might be a sweet memory needed in the bleak future, or it might be a painful one that causes you to move towards a hopeful horizon.

Psalm 16

"Keep me safe, my God, for in you I take refuge.
I say to the Lord,
"You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing."
I say of the godly who are in the land,
They are noble people in whom is all my delight.
Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup
You have made my lot secure.
The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places
surely I have a delightful inheritance.

I will praise the Lord who counsels me.
even at night my heart instructs me.
I keep my eyes always on the Lord.
With him at my right hand I will not be shaken.

Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices,
my body will also rest secure, because You will not abandon me,
nor will you let your faithful one decay.
You make known to me the path of life.
You fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand."

I loved this Psalm...I loved the sense of peace and security it wrapped me in. I truly am God's child. He's got me. I love David, the Psalms are like candy for me. They give you a glimpse into this amazingly forgiving, compassionate, strong, faithful God. My favorite part is the fact that David's heart was close enough to God's that it could counsel David and be right. If only my heart could be this right on!
This Psalm speaks of inexplicable joy in God's presence, and also of utter peace we have knowing that we have a delightful, secure life because He's planned it. I cannot be shaken as long as I have Him at my right hand. I can trust God's promises.
How can one doubt the blessings of our Father?