I want Heaven!

“This is the land I have been looking for my whole life, though I never knew it till now. The reason why we loved the old Narnia is that it sometimes looked a little like this.” –The Last Battle

My Proverbs (about Personal Relationships)

Thank you to Dr. Jenson, who is not only a favorite professor and super cute, but who kindly set us free today during Torrey to wander campus creating proverbs. My group and I were assigned to write proverbs about personal relationships. We sat at the fountain, watching all the interactions. I notices the smiles, the hugs, the questions, the chatting, the complaining, the laughing, the enjoying, the hitting, the hand-holding, the conversations, the flirting. I also had the pleasure of hanging out with two of the cutest kids ever, Elizabeth and Jack, and their two stuffed bears. Kids bring forward the biggest smiles, they’re so good for the soul. These two bright blondes made me laugh with their adorable chatter and hilarious antics. While doing one of my favorite pastimes (people watching), I thought about the huge need we have for all sorts of human interaction: the relationships between us and friends, parents, children, a beloved. All vitally important. Here are some of our proverbs:
“As pleasant as a warm afternoon, so is a conversation with a dear friend”
“A smile from a person far outweighs a smile typed out”
“A man may have many riches, but without friends he is still poor”
“Friendships make the unbearable bearable”
“As dirt muddies a stream, so romance muddies a friendship”
“A child is the best reminder of joy”
“People need people, for one cannot laugh alone”
“A friendly smile and hug are worth a thousand good grades”
“As an adult helps a child grow older, the child helps the adult be younger”
“Look! It is good and pleasant to dwell together in love with brethren!”
“As makeup reveals or conceals, so a smile can reveal or conceal the state of the soul”

My Favorite Worship Song Right Now

Savior I come quiet my soul. Remember redemption's hill, where your blood was spilled for my ransom. Everything I once held dear, I count it all as lost
Lead me to the cross where Your love poured out. Bring me to my knees, Lord, I lay me down. Rid me of myself, I belong to You. Oh lead me, lead me to the cross.
You were as I tempted and tried. The word became flesh, bore my sin and death; now you're risen. Everything I once held dear, I count it all as lost.
Lead me to the cross where Your love poured out. Bring me to my knees, Lord, I lay me down. Rid me of myself, I belong to You. Oh lead me, lead me to the cross.
To your heart, to your heart. Lead me to your heart, Lead me to your heart.

Break

where did it go
why did you leave me alone
the feeling is fleeting,
my dear, your no longer with me

what did you take, what did you leave
even if it was for my sake
my love, you turned on what I gave
and took what i can't ever regain

so before you fly away,
know i'll never be quite the same
what was is gone and may never come back
my life is all wrong, but i can't go back

you lost a heart worth holding
and a soul worth saving
my life is out of your hands
so put me back on firm land

yours is yours
mine is mine
steps no longer alined
your soul not entwined with mine

Heart Beat

Fragile, fluttering gently, full of emotion, and oh so frail. With every beat my heart drums the call, "love-me, love-me, love-me". Yet, no one answers to the cry. It beats loudly into the emptiness of space, and still no one comes to hold me. My heart fights daily. Fights feelings of inadequacy, of fear, of loneliness, of guilt, of pain. My heart is a fighter, yet it often feels so weak. So vulnerable. It can be crushed with a snap, hurt with a word, broken with a silence. Do I want my heart to be harder? Do I wish for it to beat "leave-me, leave-me, leave-me"? It would avoid so much hurt, derail so much pain. But then, I'd be just a shell of the Callie God made me to be. Someday, I hope there will be someone who sees my heart, sees the love I'm capable of bestowing, and thinks, "that is precious, that is desirable". How can one see a heart? How can one hear that small call? It is displayed through actions, through devotion, through selflessness, through caring, through forgiveness, through cherishing, through passion, through loyalty. It can be felt through a look, a touch, a kind word. When someone answers the call of my heart and thinks that I am worth loving, the cry will change, it will beat, "love-you, love-you, love-you"...

Hosea 2:19-20

I will betroth you to me forever;
I will betroth you in righteousness and justice,
in love and compassion.
I will betroth you in faithfulness,
and you will acknowledge the LORD"

Ben-Hur

I was watching Ben-Hur today. To those who have not seen it, just do it. It's three hours of your life that you won't mind losing. Yes, it's heart-wrenching and tear-jerking. But it's also heartwarming and the tears come from emotions more than sorrow. I think I love it because it gives another view of the gospel. It tells the story of Jesus from another perspective. To be able to convey all the emotions of the birth, death, and resurrection of the Messiah all through the journey of another man, is a powerful tool, for it is so how God works in all our lives.
My favorite scene makes me cry every time. Sentenced unfairly to the galleys, Judah is dragged through the desert with no water. Reaching the village of Nazareth, the ranks of slaves clamor for water, but are beaten back by Roman guards. All the camera shows is Jesus' strong hands picking up a gourd full of water and taking it over to Judah. As the thirsty man gulps down the water, we see the hands gently stroke his hair, as if to say, "It's all going to be okay. I have a plan, even for this. I love you, and I'm so sorry you have to suffer." As soon as Ben-Hur finishes the water, the camera shows his face as he looks up into the face of his Creator. I can't imagine what it would have been like to experience Jesus in person. The camera never shows Jesus' face, only others' reactions to it. I like this, because in the same way, we can't see his face, but we can react to him. We can see how he is taking care of us, we can see all the ways he is giving us water, even if we are in a desert.
This movie evokes in me a strong emotion of awe. The God we serve is so powerful. How can I doubt that the God of Abraham, of Moses, of David, of Jesus will take care of me! How can I not have full faith in someone who is so utterly capable? And how can I not love someone who is so compassionate? How can I not fully give all I have to Him, this powerful and loving and kind and capable Savior.

Joel 2:23

23 "Be glad, O people of Zion,
rejoice in the Lord your God,
for he has given you
the autumn rains in righteousness.
He sends you abundant showers,
both autumn and spring rains, as before."

This verse is hopeful. I look at it and think, He always blesses those who are righteous. He never fails to look after us. Even though there are difficult seasons in our life, we will be replenished. He won't ever turn his back on us, but will refresh, renew, restore.

Joy Sonnet

A smile lights the eyes from a joy within.
It’s not a fleeting feeling or notion,
Joy’s there with you, no matter where or when.
It’s a somewhat rare human emotion;
Not all can smile no matter what comes.
And joy is not always easy to have,
Joy is for one who trusts, has peace, and loves;
No matter what happens you still can laugh.
Just like a brook bubbling along the ground,
Merrily going its way over stones,
Not caring about the world all around,
No storm, cold frost, or any wind that moans.
It still is constantly tripping along,
Happy, content, always singing a song.

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are 
afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just take the rotten 
apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy....... The apples 
at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they are 
amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one 
who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.


Math Class "Be Creative" Assignment

What if life were dull
We only existed to breathe
The only point in waking
Was to eat, sleep, repeat

What if there was no beauty
No birds, no meadow, no sky
Without sunshine, or lull of the sea
Why should we even try

What if there was no music
To evoke emotion in our soul
No sweet strain of melody
That makes us feel at home

But it is not so, life can be full
Full of laughter, of sunsets, of dance
Life isn't just the day to day drudge
You have to look and find its romance

Jennifer and Jim kept getting huge water bills. They knew beyond a doubt that the bills weren't representative of their actual usage. But no matter how they tried to conserve, the high bills continued. Although they could see nothing wrong, they had everything checked for leaks or problems: first the water meter, then outdoor pipes, indoor pipes, underground pipes, faucets, toilets, washer, ice-maker, etc., all to no avail. One day Jim was sick and stayed home in bed, but kept hearing water running downstairs. He finally tore himself from his sick bed to investigate, and stumbled onto the cause of such high water bills. Apparently this was happening all day long when they were not at home. Knowing that few would believe him, he taped a segment of the 'problem' for posterity.

Psalm 38:8-9

I am feeble and utterly crushed;
I groan in anguish of heart.

All my longings lie open before you, O Lord;
my sighing is not hidden from you.