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"The LORD your God is testing you to find out whether you love him with all your heart and with all your soul. It is the LORD your God you must follow, and him you must revere. Keep his commands and obey him; serve him and hold fast to him.”

“The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.”

"For you bless the righteous, Oh Lord, you cover him with favor as with a shield."

"My shield is with God, who saves the upright in heart."

"When I said, "My foot is slipping," your love, O LORD, supported me.When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul."

"Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her."

"I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength."

La Figlia che Piange (The Weeping Girl)

Stand on the highest pavement of the stair-
Lean on the garden urn-
Weave, weave the sunlight in your hair
Clasp your flowers to you with pained surprise-
Fling them to the ground and turn
With a fugitive resentment in your eyes:
But weave, weave the sunlight in your hair.

So I would have had him leave,
So I would have had her stand and grieve
So he would have left
As the soul leaves the body torn and bruised,
As the mind deserts the body it has used.
I should find
Some way incomparably light and deft
Some way we both would understand,
Simple and faithless as a smile and shake of the hand

She turned away, but with the autumn weather
Compelled my imagination many days,
Many days and many hours:
Her hair over her arms and her arms full of flowers
And I wonder how they should have been together!
I should have lost a gesture and a pose
Sometimes these cogitations still amaze
The troubled midnight and the noon's repose.

--T.S. Eliot

Vulnerable

Out of brokenness.
Cracked concrete now a canvas—
A new bud soon blooms.
But even spring brings harsh rains—
New buds are the first to break.

-Turell Peshek

“My salvation and my honor depend on God ; he is my mighty rock, my refuge.”- Psalm 62:7

Loneliness...

"Like fatigue, like hunger, loneliness is part of being human. Fatigue is cured by sleep and hunger by eating, but how do we handle loneliness? It's our very nature to seek an alter ego, a heart that responds to our human ache for understanding.

Our favorite women of the Bible were no strangers to periods of aloneness, which, interestingly, often presaged important events: Mary, during her pregnancy; Ruth, bereaved in Moab; Esther, in a pagan harem; Hannah, childless for years in a culture where barrenness was a disgrace.

In his crowded adult life, there were times when Jesus chose to be alone, deliberately making himself unavailable so that he might nourish his soul in communion with his Father. He experienced both isolation and alienation. His query to his disciples when the fawning crowds drifted off, "Will you also go away?" and his Gethsemane "Watch with me"--these are lonely words.

Yet even Jesus did not use his relationship with God as a substitute for human companionship. He found sustenance with his three closest disciples--Peter, James and John--and in the home of Mary, Martha and Lazarus.

But even the most congenial marriage, the closest friendship, the most satisfying child-parent relationship is both transient and unpredictable. Although some 1,500 years have passed since St. Augustine remarked that "our hearts will never be at rest away from the One who made them," it's still true.

Just because he has created us as unique individuals, our Father knows the best way to fill each one's empty places. It is only God who can fill our deepest longings, who never has an appointment elsewhere, who never replaces us with someone he likes better, who promises never to leave us totally alone. He is the only one who wants to be and always can be the unfailing companion on our journey."

Luke 5:12-16; I Kings 19:1-10; Psalm 27:7-10

Bound to Love

"In the case of women, they have a strange and strong loyalty. Some stupid people started the idea that because women obviously back up their loved ones through everything, therefore women are blind and do not see anything. They can hardly have known any women.. The same women who are ready to defend their men through thick and thin are almost morbidly lucid about the thinness of his excuses or the thickness of his head. A man's friend likes him but leaves him as he is: his wife loves him and is always trying to change him, help him. Love is not blind, that is the last thing it is. Love is bound: and the more it is bound, the less it is blind."
--G.K. Chesterton's "Orthodoxy"

Why is that? Where does our sense of undying loyalty come from? Is it helpful or harmful?
Love is beautiful. And to be bound to someone is something my heart longs for. But I find myself often unable to face the bad parts of love, to stand up against it. I am loyal, faithful, forgiving. I am bound to love. I am not blind to its flaws, but I am bound. Is that the way it should be?

Adventures

Strike out on an adventure. Leave behind the worries, the stresses, the homework, the bills. Leave the house, the boy, the pressure. Leave the time frame. Leave it all behind. Take your car keys and some CD's to sing along to. Take a Dr. Pepper or two, a bag of Doritos, the Oreos. Take the camera, take your journal. Take sunglasses and cherry lip balm. There's so many things to see, things to experience.
Mountain roads curving in green hills.
Small towns tucked in valleys.
Cliffs dropping off endlessly into ocean.
Book lofts. Antique stores. Coffee shops.
Pine trees, oak trees, palm trees.
Orange poppies, purple primrose, yellow daisies.
Meadows, forests, mountains, cliffs.
Drive or hike or meander or bike.
Go on an adventure. Just do it. The world is brimming with beauty. You never know what you'll see when you go around the next corner. There is water in different shades of blue. Trees of different sizes. Breezes with different tangs. Get out of the city and look at the stars. Get out of the rush and go skip some rocks. Walk upstream in a cold river, explore the streets of a historic town, push boulders off of cliffs, drive up the coast. Marvel at the beauty of God's creation...it's His masterpiece. He made it just for us, you know.

Jeremiah 17:7-8

“But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”

Run Away With Me

I ran away to the sea
No one came with me

The day dawned young,
Fresh. Chilled. Bright.
Across open sweep of sky
Blue stretches out of sight

Breezes breathe, seagulls squall
A red scarf wraps my hair.
The air hangs heavy, full of salt
My feet are brown and bare.

A kite winks colorful above
Stolen by the wind
Cragged rocks tower tall
Waves swill 'round jagged ends

Halfway buried in the sand
With warm rays of champagne sun
Safe from foamy flecks I sit
All alone, no one's come

I watch the waves roll in and out
A pattern endlessly listless.
On the brink,the edge of the world
I am wistful or peaceful or restless

I ran away to the sea
Won't you come and find me

This is for you Shelby!

LORELAI: All right then. Relax. Be calm. Everything will be fine.

RORY: Okay.

LORELAI: I gotta go. Can I ask you one more question? Do you think my hair looks cool?

RORY: Bye.

LORELAI: 'Cause, you know, some days I wake up and I'm like, cool. Some days I'm like, could be cooler.

RORY: I won't wait up for you.

LORELAI: Like today I got up and I was like, left side cool, right side not so cool.

RORY: Bye.

LORELAI: Bye.

Proverbs 31 Woman

A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.
She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
"Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

Oh How I Love Jane Eyre...

This is the part when Jane has just left Mr. Rochester. She has run away from the love of her life. She is heartbroken, alone, completely penniless and is sleeping under a tree. And this is her heart:

"Worn out from the torture of thought, I rose to my knees. Night was come, and her planets were risen: a safe, still night: too serene for the companionship of fear. We know that God is everywhere; but certainly we feel His presence most when His works are on the grandest scale before us; and it is in the unclouded night sky, where His worlds wheel their silent course, that we read clearest His infinitude, His omnipotence, His omnipresence.
I had risen to my knees to pray for Mr. Rochester. Looking up, I, with tear-dimmed eyes, saw the mighty Milky Way. Remembering what it was--what countless systems there swept space like a soft trace of light-- I felt the might and strength of God. Sure was I of His efficiency to save what He had made: convinced I grew that neither earth should perish, nor one of the souls it treasured. I turned my prayer to thanksgiving: the Source of Life was also the Savior of spirits. Mr Rochester was safe: he was God's, and by God would he be guarded. I again nestled to the breast of the hill; and ere long in sleep forgot sorrow."

Such an artlessly good and grateful perspective. God is God and we are not. We should be grateful that He's got all in control, He is God so He is so capable of guarding us and taking care of us.
I never realized how much Jane Eyre is a look into the peace, provision, joy, will, and blessings of a beautiful God.

Far Away

I will live my life as a lobsterman's wife on an island in the blue bay.
He will take care of me, he will smell like the sea,
And close to my heart he'll always stay.

I will bear three girls all with strawberry curls, little Ella and
Nelly and Faye.
While I'm combing their hair, I will catch his warm stare
On our island in the blue bay.

Far away far away, I want to go far away.
To a new life on a new shore line.
Where the water is blue and the people are new.
To another island, in another life.

There's a boy next to me and he never will be anything but a boy at the bar.
And I think he's the tops, he's where everything stops.
How I love to love him from afar.

When he walks right pass me then I finally see on this bar stool I can't stay.
So I'm taking my frown to a far distant town
On an island in the blue bay.

Far away far away, I want to go far away.
To a new life on a new shore line.
Where the water is blue and the people are new.
To another island, in another life.

I want to go far away.
Away away, I want to go far away, away, away
I want to go far away, far away.

Where the water is blue and the people are new.
To another life, to another life.
To another shore line
In another life.

--Ingrid Michaelson