Change in the Winds

I sit here, in my empty dorm room. Honestly, it's incredibly depressing. My heart aches. I'm sad to leave here. The bare mattress, the empty book shelves, the scrubbed counters. So many memories dance through this small space. My dearest friends have come and gone through this door. I've cried countless nights on this bed, but I've also had valuable girl talk curled up on this blanket. I've had dance parties on this carpet. I've pulled all nighters at this desk. I comforted, I listened, I complained, I broke, I healed, I laughed, I stressed...I grew. All in this room.
You can't stop change. It creeps upon you, shoving you forward into that scary unknown. I hate the black abyss we call the future. I try to imagine it, decipher it, figure it out. But it remains allusive, often shocking me with its surprises. I hate moving on. I cling, holding on tightly to what is familiar, what is secure, what is lovable.
Tomorrow I am leaving friends nearest and dearest to my heart. What will have changed when I return to them? How will we have grown up even more? My heart aches at the thought of leaving them, and of leaving this particular time in my life.
You can't stop change. There is a season for everything in this life, or so Ecclesiastes says. But what if you like the current season? How can you tell change to "hold it right there, don't come any closer". Yes, the future may be bright and beautiful, but it is different. This time in my life: the hairbrained, overwhelmed with figuring myself out, crazy 12 units of Torrey with my Plato family, living in nerdy Sigma with my roomie, feeling like an underclassman...that time in life is now over.
To be content in any situation...ah, how often I fail. But sometimes, contentment finds you. And in that moment, you count all your blessings and you find yourself incredibly grateful. So, even though I am sad to be moving forward in life, I am so thankful. I am thankful for the loving and growing I've done with my dear ones, even just within these walls. I am thankful for my moment of contentment, of being filled up with marvelous blessings.
I wish I could face the future and say bravely "bring on the change! I'm ready". But I'm not always that brave. I am, however, sure of a few things: memories are beautiful, friends are always beloved, and God loves to bless us with contentment if we just trust in Him, even during change.